The Baby Project
by Kete.Hlin
Summary: Teenagers Lizzy and Darcy are forced to raise a baby together for a week. How will these two people from different social groups and status survive? Summaries are not my strongest side. I hope curiosity is enough to bring you inside my cage... I mean... imagination. - Hlín
1. Day One

Hello my lovelies. So, this is a "short", silly story I wrote in seven parts. I hope you don't hate it too much.

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Day One

EPOV

It was a beautiful Monday morning. Everybody was fresh after the weekend and ready to start another school day. They were especially looking forward to spend two hours with Mr Collins – the man so lucky with words it made you want to cry. Or laugh. One was never quite sure.

Mr Collins managed to make everything awkward. He was just one of those people. One of those teachers who made a joke and you could hear crickets dying in the background. I believe it was the school's worst decision to make him take over sex-ed.

"What you see here in my right hand at this moment is a factory made penis," the man started his lecture. "Everyone know what a penis is?" The class stared blankly ahead, then nodded slowly when Mr. Collins started shaking the pink dildo he was holding. "In my other hand I'm holding a contraceptive, otherwise known as a condom."

Then he proceeded to put the condom on the dildo. I wasn't an expert, but something told me he was doing it wrong when the condom flew across the room and landed on someone's forehead. Mr Collins cleared his throat, excusing himself while the class tried hard not to giggle.

The teacher moved towards his desk and picked up a doll. "Remember this: no sexual intercourse until marriage. Because you will get stuck with one of these babies," he shook the baby and it immediately started crying. Again, Mr Collins cleared his throat, excusing himself and tried to soothe the baby. He gave up eventually and cleared his throat again. "I'll be splitting you up in pairs. You'll work together for one week on bringing up your child. Remember what I said about sex: don't have it, or you'll be spending a whole lot more time bringing up one of those screaming dolls. And they won't be dolls. They will be real. No plastic. Real human flesh. That you will be responsible for until you die from the syphilis you'll catch from all the unprotected sex. Don't have sex, kids. It's bad."

Crickets dying.

He cleared his throat again and picked up the list of students. "I think the alphabet will work well in this situation. Um... Ms Archer and Mr Ashton..." They took a baby from the desk and sat down. I stopped listening until I heard my name. "...Ms Bennet and, um," he scanned through the list, "Mr Darcy."

_Nooooooo!_

Of course I had to be set up with the proudest, richest, handsomest jerkball of the entire school. Lucky me.

I was approached by the annoyingly smug William Darcy holding our baby. He took a seat next to me, cradling the child, looking as if he might strike up a conversation. But I'd rather listen to Mr Collins talk about hissexual escapades and fantasies than talk to that creep. I think I managed to express something along those lines with my eyes, for he quickly turned his attention to the teacher. He continued to pair us alphabetically, but there was one boy who was the odd one out. If my memory served me correctly, the boy's name was Dennis.

Mr Collins put his arm over the Dennis's shoulder and said sympathetically, "I guess you'll learn what it feels when you stick it in but don't stay for the rest, eh?" He squeezed his shoulder and Dennis forced a smile. "Raising a child alone because the father of the child didn't handle the responsibility and left you all alone." He winked. "Don't stick it in until you're ready to deal with the consequences."

Mr Collins handed Dennis a baby and allowed him to take his seat again. He looked relieved.

"And that goes to all of you. Remember that."

Mr Collins then told us how to take care of the baby and how we would be graded on this project. I just prayed that Darcy could take care of a child, because I sure as hell didn't.

The teacher then went to fetch strollers, diapers and bottles for the babies. Darcy and I still hadn't spoken when Mr Collins ended his lecture.

"I know I put you in male and female pairs, but no sex, okay? I understand you have raging hormones and sexual frustration and feelings and such, but don't act on them. We don't want anyone dead, right?"

Nobody said a word.

The bell rang and we were finally free. I took my bag and left the room, unaware that Darcy was following me, dragging a stroller while holding our crying baby.

"Lizzy," he said, pulling my arm to stop me. I turned around to face him. He handed me the baby, upside down. "Congrats on motherhood, it really suits you. Take care." He started walking away, but I stopped him.

"Where the hell do you think you're going?"

"I don't have time to take care of a baby, I have an exam tomorrow."

I thrust the crying baby back at him. "I don't have time for it either. In case you haven't noticed, I'm in the same math class."

"Of course I've noticed you..." He combed his fingers through his hair. "I mean... you're smart and you can pass it easily." I forgot he was almost complimenting me when he threw the baby back at me. I only just caught it. It was now screaming _and_ wetting itself. I almost felt sorry for this piece of melted plastic.

"There's a reason I pass exams – I study." I put the baby in the stroller Darcy's fingers were still clutching.

"Come on, please," he begged, watching me as I straightened myself back up. "I'll pay you fifty dollars."

"I don't want your stupid money," I said, insulted.

He thought for a moment. "I'll buy you that book you want, what's it called? A Dance with Dragons?"

I was taken aback. "How did you know I want that book?"

"Your Facebook," he admitted.

"We're Facebook friends?" I had no recollection of that.

He cleared his throat and scratched the back of his head. "Well...um...no..."

This was just too odd. William Darcy is a closeted Facebook stalker?

"The baby needs diaper change, goodbye." I started walking away.

"Elizabeth Bennet, don't you dare walk away from me," he said authoritatively. I turned around to give him a piece of my mind but he stopped me. "I promise that you and that Emo friend of yours will never be harassed by Caroline's posse again."

I thought for a moment. It was a pretty nice proposal. It would be nice not to be reminded every day how horribly ugly I am, of my bad taste in clothes, bad hair, zits and not to forget how poor my family is.

"First of all, Charlotte is Goth, not Emo. Second of all, I don't need _your_ help with Satan's bride–"

"But it would be nice, wouldn't it?" he interrupted. I scowled. "Just tonight. I'll take the baby tomorrow, I promise. And then we can work however you want. You'll take the days, and I'll take the nights. Anything you want. Just tonight."

"Just tonight? You promise?"

He looked away, coughing. "And practice nights..."

"No." I started walking away again but again he was in my way.

"This is getting ridiculous. Just take the damn baby."

"_You_ take the damn baby. I didn't ask to have your baby."

"Well, you got it, lucky you."

I screwed up my face. "Gross. The last thing I want to think about is reproducing with someone like you."

"Lizzy! Baby!" He pointed between me and the doll.

"Darcy! No!" I moved his hand away.

He groaned. "You are such a child."

"Another reason why _you_ should take care of the baby, since you're so mature."

We didn't speak after that. I noticed the baby was quiet, probably asleep. I was just thinking that when Darcy wheeled the stroller to me and ran off at a great speed.

"Darcy! Darcy! You get your ass back here!"

The baby started crying again when I shouted, and Darcy didn't come back. I couldn't find him anywhere so I admitted my defeat. I walked home with the crying baby in the stroller. When I opened the door, Dad came running.

"I heard a baby c–what is that?" he asked, referring to the owner of the cries.

"My offspring. Congratulations Dad, you're a grandfather!" I kissed him on the cheek and took my coat off.

"Who's the father?" he asked and picked up the bundle of tears. He rocked it until it stopped crying, then he picked up the bottle to feed it.

"You won't believe it. It's the richest, hottest and most popular guy at school!" I feigned excitement.

"Why are you talking about Will Darcy?" my little sister Lydia called from the TV room.

"He just had a baby," Dad told her.

"Ew, gross."

My sister Mary, also occupying the TV room, took her nose briefly out of her book. "I think that's very irresponsible of him. He will have no future. At least, the unfortunate mother of his child won't have a future. He can run off and it will seem acceptable in our society."

"Get back into your cave, Mary," said Lydia.

"Girls, no fighting," said my mother. She was on the treadmill, speed walking while watching Jersey Shore.

Dad made the baby burp and then handed it to me. He had to help me hold it right and once I managed, he told me it needed a diaper change.

I screwed up my face. "Will you help me?"

"Darling, I haven't changed a diaper in 10 years or so."

"And now is the perfect time to start again, right?"

He shook his head, grabbed a diaper for me and walked with me to the bathroom. There he watched me attempt to change this baby's diaper, and found it quite entertaining. Once I was finished, the baby was crying its little plastic heart out. I guess I had moved it a lot... in ways you shouldn't perhaps.

Dad went to his study to go over his students' essays, but agreed to keep the baby with him while I studied for my exam. I wasn't sure _how_ I would study, though. I never knew when it came to math. It seemed like you just had to do every problem over and over again until you got it right. I was way too lazy for that. I took my baby and watched with it a few episodes of Sex and the City. I found myself explaining the storyline to the child, thinking _Hey, maybe this won't be so bad._

Well, I was wrong.

When I went to sleep, it immediately started crying. I fed it, burped it, changed its diaper but nothing worked. I tried singing to it, but it only made it scream louder. It was so obnoxious, like its father. After a while I started crying with the baby and we eventually fell asleep together in the bathtub.

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**So what do you guys think so far? **


	2. Day Two

Replies to reviewers who did not log on:

Sixten: Thank you, love :D School comes first so open your books! (njee.. who am I kidding? I'm writing this instead of my essay :P) Ahahahahaaa! Happy to have made you seem insane:)

YepItsMe: Lovely to see you again darling and thank you. I'm glad you enjoyed it (she thinks I'm funny *happy dance*).

Horselover22: Thanks:D Did you do it in pairs or were you a single parent?

Yixiu: Thank you! I hope I updated soon enough :D

**I love you all :***

**Readers, reviewers, followers...**

**I hope you like this chapter as well :D**

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Day Two

EPOV

When I woke up to Lydia shouting at my other sister, Kitty, my face was swollen and my hair was all over the place. Motherhood really suited me.

I splashed some cold water on my face and dressed while the baby slept. It woke up when I was brushing my teeth but was thankfully quiet. I took it down with me for the family breakfast and placed it in my older sister, Jane's chair. She was away in school and that empty chair always made me miss her. She was the one I was closest to, apart from Charlotte. But it wasn't the same without her. She was the nice quietness that made this otherwise loud family seem sane.

Dad drove me and the baby to school. It started crying as soon as I left the car in front of the building, earning us a lot of attention.

"What? I'm a teen mom and proud of it!"

Dad drove off with a smile.

I hurried into school with one mission: to locate Darcy. I didn't find him until I went to my first class – math. He looked like he had been avoiding me. Those of us who had a baby were allowed to leave it outside of class while some woman "looked after them".

The exam went well, but I didn't care; I wanted to hand Darcy our little jewel. I waited in front of the class room with the baby until Darcy finally came out. By then the baby had started crying and I was trying to calm it down. Emphasis on trying.

"How did you do?" I asked.

He shrugged. "Fine, I hope. You?"

"Alright, I guess. Here's your baby," I said and thrust the cry machine to him. "She's your problem now."

He looked at the doll. "She?"

"Yeah, she doesn't have a penis so I figured she had to be a girl. I named her Darcy, after you."

He narrowed his eyes. "Oh, I get it. You're mocking me because Darcy is also a girls name." He thrust the baby back to me. "I have practice after school today, so she's yours for another day. Yay."

"What? No! I didn't get _any_ sleep last night, please take her!" I gave her back to him. "It's your turn to be the parent.

"I can't, not tonight. I can't miss practice. I'm already in big trouble with the coach because of my grades." He made to give me back the baby but I pushed it back to him before he could.

"Please, I'm begging you. I'll do your homework, your exams. I'll even wash your jockstrap!" He screwed up his face. "Pleeeeeease." I put my hands together and begged, attempting to convince him with my awesome puppy-dog face. He just shook his head with a look of disgust. "Little Darcy might enjoy watching her daddy play," I said, still pouting and batting my eyelashes.

He relented, grumbling. He looked away from me and down at our crying baby. He cradled it and tried to soothe it. He seemed to be able to handle it. "But I'm going to need someone to watch over her during practice." He looked at me with a pout and started batting his eyelashes exaggeratedly. I would have laughed if it had not been for the fact that he was a bastard.

"Sorry," I said. "I have Glee-club after school."

He furrowed his brows. "We don't have a Glee-club."

"Yet," I said, backing up a bit. "I'm starting one." I took another step back. "Today." Then I bolted, but damn that boy runs fast.

So, I was forced to watch over our doll while Darcy ran in the mud after some stupid ball. To make things even better, some of his friends visited me on the bleachers. They were douchebags, as always, saying things that were hilarious to them but incomprehensible to me. It almost made me wish Caroline was there. She lacked the creativity these guys had. She just called me the same things over and over again. I kind of liked that – something I could count on. I'm not big on surprises and it was nice to have Caroline repeat herself over again so very skillfully. Oh, how I missed that little darling.

Amidst one of the guys' speech of how my face belongs in some museum (yeah, I don't get it either), Darcy yelled out "Hey!" and came running. If this were a movie he had been running in slow motion and whipping his hair back. Oh, and he'd be shirtless. Very, very shirtless. "Show some respect," he said to the boys. "She's the mother of my child." He turned his eyes to me. "Isn't that right, _sweetheart_?" He winked.

"That's right, _darling_."

Darcy then signalled the guys to follow him back to the field. They acquiesced but turned to me on the way to glare at me. However, when Darcy turned his head, he smiled to me. That was weird. I mean, Darcy? _Civil?_ Sure, maybe I had judged him harshly because his friends were assholes. As I fed the baby I realised _he_ had never done anything to me, or to Charlotte. Maybe I was wrong. Maybe he wasn't so bad after all.

After his practice, Darcy drove me home and took the baby with him.

...

DPOV

When I came home after practice, the baby was still sleeping. Thank God. I didn't understand how Lizzy could handle that noise for a whole day. Well, two kind of. I actually felt a bit bad for making her take care of the baby. She may have been a weird outcast with an attitude problem, but she didn't seem as bad as the guys told me. Perhaps, if I got to know her I'd find out something else. Perhaps I could form my own opinion based on something real. I was pretty sure the guys had never actually talked to her.

I picked up the baby and walked with it into the kitchen. Eleanor was cooking dinner and it smelled amazingly.

Eleanor Reynolds was my guardian. She had taken care of me and my sister Georgiana ever since our parents died in a car accident when I was eleven and Gigi just an infant.

She turned around and almost dropped her spoon when she saw me.

"William," she said with surprise, looking between me and the baby.

"This is my daughter, Darcy Bennet-Darcy." I walked over to her and kissed her on the cheek. She smiled warmly. "This looks good," I said, sniffing what was boiling on the stove.

"It's almost ready. Call your sister, will you?"

But there was no need. A blonde lightning came running into the kitchen, but stopped when she saw Darcy junior.

"Will..." she said slowly," why are you playing with a doll? Without me? Wait just a moment, I'll go get my doll and we can play together!" She clasped her hands together excitedly and prepared herself to run. I stopped her and explained to her that little Darcy was a school project. Gigi was disappointed and wasn't afraid to show it. Before dinner was over I found myself agreeing to participate in a tea-party, hosted by Ms Georgiana Darcy.

So, there I was. Sitting on a small plastic pink chair in Gigi's pink princess room, drinking imaginary tea from a plastic princess cup. My daughter sat beside me but I told Gigi that she was too young to drink tea. Gigi was thrilled to have company and served us plastic donuts and cakes. She had always been a rather lonely kid. I had been so old when she was born so she never really had anyone to be friends with. It didn't help that she was so scared of people leaving her that she thought it better not to get close to anyone. She wouldn't get hurt that way, and she wouldn't have to miss anyone. Sad to think that those are the thoughts of a five year old.

As I drank my tea, baby Darcy started crying. I apologised to my pouting sister and bid her goodnight.

Her pout and sad, disappointed face remained with me as I changed the doll's diaper. When I opened Darcy's diaper to reveal the biggest stink bomb I had ever smelled, I wondered how the factory people managed to make the doll's excrement so realistically disgusting.

Darcy junior cried the entire night and nothing I did was good enough. I tried soothing her, feeding her and changing her diaper but to no avail. She was determined to see me dead. Finally I gave up trying and just cried with her.

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**Reviews make me disgustingly happy, all day long! :D**


	3. Day Three

**I am so, so sorry! I left you in the dust, I know. I hate it when writers do that and I did that to you! I'M ONE OF THEM!**

**I can't promise it won't happen again, since I'm busy with school and my finals are nearing at an impressive speed.**

**But just hang with me, alright?**

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Day Three

DPOV

I woke up, my chest covered in the baby's puke, my face in toothpaste and my was head inside the refrigerator. I had the baby in my arms and clenched my toothbrush in one hand. I had no idea how I had gotten there or why I looked the way I did, but I did not dwell long on it.

Eleanor struggled to keep a smile at bay when she entered the kitchen that morning with a sleepy Gigi in her arms.

"Rough night?" she asked as she placed Gigi in a chair by the table.

I stood up with some difficulty and closed the refrigerator. "I'm never having sex," I mumbled.

Gigi fell out of her chair and continued her nap on the floor.

After breakfast, I cleaned myself and the baby off and dressed us both for school. I kissed the ladies of the house goodbye, the younger still tired but awake enough to tell me off for abandoning her tea game the previous night. Again I apologised and she warmed up enough to me to give me a parting hug.

I found Lizzy where I knew she would be – at the library. She was sitting with her emo – no wait – _Goth_ friend, Charlotte. I didn't understand how so different people could be such great friends. Lizzy was so livel–no wait. Lizzy wasn't social and lively, she thrived on arguments and was a self-proclaimed loner. She was cynical and wry, both of which Charlotte was known for. The pair seemed to be very much alike. Too much alike.

"Hi," I whispered to Lizzy. She looked up from her book with a small smile. Charlotte looked at me with her heavily painted eyes and a bored expression. She then turned back to her book.

Charlotte and Lizzy really _were_ the same. I don't really remember a day in math class when Lizzy wasn't hiding a book inside her math book.

Lizzy silently took baby Darcy and I went off to find my friends.

EPOV

"Stop looking at his ass," Charlotte said, eyes on her book, her mouth pulled into a smirk.

I quickly averted my eyes from Darcy's behind. I hadn't realised I was even staring at it. DAMN! I hated him, right? He and his stupid friends were assholes. I just had to remind myself of that.

_But damn, he has a nice posterior._

_Oh, shut up, Lizzy._

Charlotte and I walked together to our separate classes. On the way I mentioned how lucky she was not to have to have a baby for a week, and especially with someone I had decided not to like. Charlotte just smiled proudly and said, "One of the few perks of being older. Though I must admit, I'm pretty sad that I didn't get to go to Collins' lecture."

"Because you find him charming, funny and good-looking?"

"Yes," she replied sarcastically.

The teacher in question walked past us, bowing his head slightly to us as a greeting. When he was gone, Charlotte leaned closer and said, "Dat ass."

"Slow down your hormones, Char. You'll get pregnant if you think too much about sex."

The bell rang and I went to class. I read most of the time, occasionally looking up from my book and also nodding my head to seem interested in the lecture.

When the class was over I got a phone call from my piano instructor – I had to come and rehearse that same night. I sighed and prepared myself to find Darcy. Finding _him_ wasn't what I dreaded, it was the fact that he'd be with his friends.

I located him at his usual table in the break hall. His friends were there too. I caught Darcy's attention and walked closer, pushing the stroller ahead of me.

"Shut up, George," he muttered under his breath when I had gotten to his table. Said George reluctantly stopped bitching but gave me a hateful look before turning to his other friends. Darcy got up and lead me out of sight. "What's up?"

"I can't take care of the baby tonight."

"Why not? Another glee practice?" he joked.

"Ha-ha, no. I have a recital next week and I need to practice with my instructor." I thought for a moment. "Forget about it, I'll just ask my sister to watch over her." I knew none of my sisters would _ever_ agree to babysit the pooping machine. So a good blackmail was in order, but what did I have on them? "Or my dad..." But I needed him to drive me. "Why didn't I get my driver's licence?"

He blinked fast, looking oddly and unsurely from side to side. "Are you thinking aloud?"

"I'll just take her with me. Never mind everything." But crap. "I need someone to watch over her while I play." I groaned.

"I VOLUNTEER!" he yelled out. At my raised eyebrow he composed himself, coughing and fixing his shirt. "Sorry. I've wanted to do that ever since I read the Hunger Games."

_He has read the Hunger Games? I may not like him a whole lot but he just got hotter._

I just smiled a little.

DPOV

That same evening, I sat down somewhere in the middle of an empty theatre**, **while Lizzy took her seat very elegantly in front of a grand piano. A woman, who I assumed was her instructor, gave her a sign to begin, and Lizzy's fingers touched the instrument softly.

I was lost.

She played so beautifully, so gracefully. The way her fingers moved, the way she closed her eyes with such immense feeling. So beautiful.

How had I not seen her like this before?

The baby started crying but I didn't notice until Lizzy stopped playing and gave me the eye. Her instructor wasn't pleased either and yelled at me to "quiet down the goddamn baby". I soothed little Darcy and gave Lizzy a nervous smile to continue her playing. She did, and now her playing lasted for just over an hour.

Afterwards, Lizzy gathered her notes and walked down to meet me and baby Darcy. She was biting her bottom lip nervously. It made me very aware of her plump lips.

How had I not noticed this before?

"Ready to go?" I asked, standing up and putting the baby bag on my back.

She nodded shyly and together the three of us walked towards my car. Well, the two of us walked and one was carried. And to my parents' car.

Oh, whatever. You know what I meant.

EPOV

My fingers had been shaking the entire time. I was so nervous and so afraid to slip up, especially in front of Darcy. His presence made me feel so uneasy.

I knew I had slipped up a few times and prayed he hadn't noticed. I was pretty sure he hadn't. He probably wasn't listening anyway. He had most likely been messaging his friends, or something. There was no reason to be nervous; nothing I ever did caught the mighty Darcy's attention.

He dropped me off at home and helped me gather up all the baby's things.

"Thanks," I told him and went inside. I could feel his eyes on my back as I did but I chose to ignore the feeling that gave me.

As I got closer I noticed the curtains move, and a silhouette, that looked a lot like the one of my mother, retreat.

She attacked me with questions when I walked through the door. "Who is he? What's he doing here? He's so handsome! Do you have a boyfriend? Why is he leaving? Ask him to stay for dinner. He's so handsome!"

"Nice to see you too, mom. That was Darcy. We're working on a school project together. No, I'm still perpetually single and lonely. He's leaving because he doesn't want to stay for your organic, gross – I mean – for your _yummy_ dinner."

_And, yes, he is handsome. _I bit my tongue to keep myself from saying it aloud. Instead I said, "Goodnight," and left with the baby to go to bed.

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**Review, please? :D **

**And tell me to go do my essay. That was what I'm supposed to be doing instead of writing this... **

**Much love.**


	4. Day four

**Didn't expect me to update this quick, did you? I didn't either. And don't get used to it, my darlings. **

**Mom is reading over my essay so I just started writing. And just didn't stop...**

**How is it that I can easily write _this, _2500 words, in just a few hours, but I can't write my essay (which is just a few words longer) in a few _days?_**

**The answer isn't complicated, is it?**

**Okay, rant over. **

**Now, here's me replying to those who didn't log on:**

**(I forgot to do this last chapter, I'll do it later)**

George: I'll see what I can do about that. But really, it was just supposed to be a short story about Darcy and Elizabeth. Perhaps in time, though :)

Yixiu: Or is he? (see, I'm being all mysterious :P)

CC15477: Thank you! :D I'm glad you and your daughter are enjoying this. And thanks for calling me funny :D I hope the language use and references to sex aren't too bad for your daughter:S Tell her I said "hi" :D

Guest: Ohoho! Thank you :D Good luck with that! I wish my school was that much "fun" :(

**And now, on to the story. I hope you enjoy this. This is the longest chapter to date.**

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Day four

EPOV

The baby had actually slept soundly throughout the night. I could hardly believe it. I had gotten some rest! It felt odd. When I had gone to bed I actually waited for the baby to start crying. It just seemed natural. But for some reason it didn't. Baby Darcy was quiet for once.

I ate breakfast with my family that morning. Dad was reading the newspaper while mom ate her non-fat organic yogurt, wearing her hot pink yoga pants. Sometimes I felt a bit embarrassed to have her as my mom, but I loved her. Sure, she was insane, talked too much and too loudly, and well... insane. But what's not to love? Nobody is sane, we're all a bunch of weirdoes. Except that brooding dude from that Jane Austen book, now he was perfect.

Dad drove me, baby Darcy and my sisters to school after breakfast. I met up with Charlotte on the parking lot and walked into the school with her. She was heading towards the cafeteria to get a cup of coffee but I managed to convince her (with the use of whining and puppy dog eyes) to go with me to find Darcy.

"But I better get my coffee later," Charlotte said as we walked in the direction of Darcy's table. "I'll go crazy without it."

"You're crazy already, my darling."

"Yeah, but with my coffee I'll be the fun type of crazy. Not the I-just-woke-up-so-don't-dare-smile-at-me-'cause-I'll-kill-you type of crazy."

"I kinda like that version of you," I said. "It makes me feel like something exiting is about to happen."

"Nothing exiting ever happens in this town, Liz."

"True."

I wheeled baby Darcy to daddy Darcy and took off with Charlotte, ignoring the wolf-whistles and the insults. Darcy tried to be nice and told them to shove it. Sweet, isn't it?

"I'm free!" I said as Charlotte and I walked back towards the cafeteria.

"Until tomorrow, then you'll get to see both of the Darcy's you love the most!" Charlotte paid for her coffee and we made our way towards the lockers. "Be honest with me here, Lizbug, what do you think of Darcy?"

"What?" I was confused and flabbergasted by the question.

"He's hot." Charlotte shrugged and took a sip of her coffee. "I can see the appeal."

"I'm sorry, what?" Now I was _really_ confused.

"Oh, come on Lizzy, I may have too much mascara in my eyes but I'm by no means blind. He looks at you like he wants to kiss you in front of your house, at night, in the pouring rain, and confess his undying love-OW!" I cut off her feigned sentimentality with a shoulder punch. She rubbed her "wound" and pretended to start crying. "I'm hurt. I thought we were friends." She sniffed.

"Drink your coffee and shut up," I said. She drank but defied me by continuing to speak.

"And then there's you," she said. "You look at him like you want tackle him and have him by the lockers."

"What?" I furrowed my brows, laughing.

"I may have exaggerated that, but you get my drift."

"No, I don't. I don't like Darcy any more than I like you."

"Oh, snap!"

The bell rang.

"I love you," I said to Charlotte as a farewell.

"I love me too." She winked and left for her class.

_What the hell is she talking about?_ I thought to myself as I took my seat. _I don't like Darcy, and he most definitely does not like me. _He hated me, of this I was sure. I only needed to look at him and those scumbag friends of his to know how he felt about me. But still. He seemed different. He didn't badmouth me, at least not in front of me, and he was actually quite funny.

Sometimes.

Occasionally.

A little.

A teeny tiny bit.

AND HE HAD READ THE HUNGER GAMES!

But he was rude too! And arrogant. And _so _annoying. But... GAAAH! Being a teenager was sometimes just too hard.

...

DPOV

Sometimes I just wanted to beat the living hell out of my friends. They had been so rude to Lizzy when she had brought the baby over. Well, indirectly so. They had said things I cared not to repeat. What was wrong with them? They had never been like that before.

Had they?

Was I always so engrossed in my own things that I hadn't cared to notice what they were saying about others?

Was it only Lizzy?

Was there something about her that made them go on like that?

Or was it the fact that like li- um... was doing a project with her, that made them seem worse?

After school, as promised, I played with my little sister. I ditched my homework for my little angel! Fine, I had already planned to skip it...

We had some very fine tea from some very fine plastic cups. Gigi said I looked like a princess so I got to wear a pink tiara and drink from her princess cup. She had also tried to persuade me to wear her princess dress but I convinced her I was too big for it. She was affronted.

"I. Am. Very. Tall," she said. She meant to sound angry but damn she was so adorable, all pouty and insulted like that.

"I know you are, sweetie. But I'm just too... fat..." I patted my flat stomach with a feigned frown. She looked me over once and agreed with me. My feigned frown turned into an actual one. _I'm fat?_

Eleanor called us down for dinner and the three of us gathered around the table. I put a generous amount of mashed potatoes on my plate and dug in.

"Will, Will, Will," tsk-ed Gigi. I looked up from my dinner. "You'll never fit into the princess dress if you go on like that."

Eleanor snorted into her glass of water.

...

EPOV

I opened my email that night and saw a message from Mr. Collins.

"Oh, dear..."

_Dear boys and girls._

_I hope all is well with you and your children. Your dolls, that is. Not your actual children. Having actual children, and not dolls, at your age can destroy your lives. Abstinence is the key, children. You, students, not the dolls. The dolls can't have sexual intercourse._

I fought the urge to facepalm myself.

_The reason I am interrupting your fulfilling lives with this message is to alert you that you must turn in a-_

So basically I had to write something about the project, the baby and Darcy.

-_You shall do it in the previously set up pairs. Not "it" of course. Abstinence is a beautiful thing.-_

With Darcy... I had to write it with Darcy.

I sighed, logging off. I tracked down Darcy's phone number and dialled. A woman answered the phone.

"Hello?" said she.

"Um, hello... this is Elizabeth Bennet... um... I go to school with-"

"Yes, yes, I know who you are." She sounded like she was smiling. "May I help you?"

"Yeah, I need to talk to Dar- uh, Will... about the project... thing..." Why was I always so awkward when speaking on the phone?

"I'll get him for you, can you hang on?"

I nodded my head. Then I realised she couldn't see me and said, "Sure."

She left the phone and I waited. Shortly after she left, someone picked up the phone. It sounded like a little girl.

"Hello, this is Gigi Darcy," the girl said.

"Um, hi Gigi. This is Lizzy Bennet."

There was a pause. "Lizzy? Are you Will's friend?"

_No,_ I thought. But I could hardly tell that little girl that I despised her brother.

"Yeah," I responded instead.

The little girl, Gigi, giggled. "Will thinks you're cute."

"Who are you talking to?" I heard Darcy say in the background. He then talked into the phone. "Please ignore my sister. She's under the influence of too much desert."

"Am not!" Gigi said in the background.

"Are too," Darcy claimed. Then he returned to the phone. "To what do I owe this pleasure?"

_Ugh, great. Annoying Darcy._

"Didn't you get the email?" I asked him, diving right in.

"What email?" he asked back.

"From Mr. Collins... about the project?"

"Um, no."

I made a sound of frustration. "Well, we have to turn in some sort of report and stuff so... I was wondering if you wanted to get together tonight or something."

"Are you asking me out?" Darcy asked. I could hear that he was smiling. God, I wanted to punch the smugness out of his voice.

"Yes, Darcy, I am," I said, frustrated.

"Hold on to your panties," said he. Again, I wanted to punch him. He really wasn't much different. "When?"

"Tonight," I said, skipping the "duh" as it had been obvious.

"Yes, I know," he said in his you're-so-stupid voice. "At what time?"

"Eight?" I suggested.

"Sounds good. Where?"

"At the old library," I said.

"But that has been closed for years..."

"I have my ways."

He chuckled. "I'm sure you do. Alright, I'll meet you there at eight."

"Bye," I said and hung up before he could say anything more.

I wasn't sure how I'd be able to survive a night with him.

...

DPOV

I asked Eleanor to babysit the doll, and she reluctantly agreed. After that conversation, I went up into my room in order to put some other clothes on. I wasn't sure why, but I felt like I needed to be wearing something else when meeting Lizzy.

I was just putting on my belt when my cell phone rang.

"Hello," I said into the phone and continued to dress.

"What's up, man?" It was George. "Have any plans for tonight?"

"Yeah, kinda. Sorry."

"Lizzy?" George asked.

I stopped dressing. "How did you-"

"You have _got_ to be kidding me, Will!" George said and groaned. "_Anyone_ but her!"

"Dude, relax," I said and picked up a tie. "It's not like I'm marrying her." I then realised how stupid I was being, picking out a tie and threw it away.

"Why do you hang out with her? She's such a loser."

"We're doing a project, and she's _not_ a loser."

"Oh, please." George snorted. "She's the definition of a shitty, virgin little loser. She has no friends and has probably never gotten laid. Maybe _that'_s the reason she's so boring. She just needs a good fuck."

That was it. "Shut up, George! You don't know her!"

"And _you_ do?"

"I could if I wanted to," I almost shouted.

"Dude, you're one of us and she's one of _them_. You _don't_ want to get to know her. I can tell you all there is to know. She's ugly, boring and nerdy. You'll bring yourself down if you keep being seen around her. Be cool, man. You have a reputation to protect."

"I can choose who I want to hang out with. And right now I'd rather be with her than any of _you_ guys. And I don't have a reputation to uphold, you do."

I had never before noticed just how sinister my friends were. Had they always been such… well, for a lack of a better word, douchebags?

"Like you're any better than we are," said George when I made the previous comment aloud. "You were there all this time and yet you did nothing. Because you know we're right."

I hung up and almost throw my phone into the wall out of pure frustration.

I refused to believe that I was like them. I had never said anything bad about Lizzy.

Had I?

But parts of what he had said was true. I _had_ been there, all along. And I had never said a word. I had never stopped them from harassing her, or her friend.

Was I exactly like them?

Was I exactly like those people Lizzy hated?

...

EPOV

I waited by the old library. Alone. In the cold. My nose hairs were starting to freeze when Darcy finally showed up.

"Where the hell have you been?" I asked, throwing my arms in the air.

He seemed really pissed off. "I'm not in the mood, Lizzy. Let's just get this over with so I can go home."

"Fine," I said, more annoyed than before.

"Fine." He matched my tone.

I showed him the way into the library. We had to climb over a fence and that seemed to scare the crap out of him.

"Shut up, I'm not scared," he protested.

In the end, he got himself over the high fence and we were halfway in. We got in through a broken basement window. In the basement Darcy looked around as if trying to locate the hiding axe murderers.

"Relax, Darcy. No one's gonna jump out and kill you," I said, putting a hand on his shoulder comfortingly. He flinched when I touched him. I couldn't tell whether it was because of the fact that _I _had touched him, or because he was startled. Regardless, I moved my hand away.

"I'm not scared!" he practically yelled.

"Geez, sorry." I held up my hands in defeat.

"Let's just go."

So we continued our way into the spider web filled, scary ass, Halloween type of library. Nah, I'm just kidding. It's very clean, no spiders to be found. But I wouldn't be surprised if a dead body was somewhere to be found. Or perhaps a mystery was hidden in one of the books. Man, that would be awesome. Darcy didn't agree with me. In fact, he thought I was insane. More so than usual.

Anyways, we did our project and nothing more can really be said. He was quiet and looked angry or annoyed. So basically, he was his normal self. I didn't dare make a sound, he might have lashed out on me. I wasn't in the mood for an argument.

Darcy walked me home after we finished up. Said he didn't want me to get murdered; he couldn't handle being a single parent just yet. Oh, feel the love!

...

DPOV

The whole night I had wanted to talk. But for some odd reason I couldn't bring myself to do it. Lizzy was being strangely quiet. It was weird. She was weird. All the time. The whole night, she was weird.

Eleanor greeted me when I got home. Gigi had fallen asleep a few hours ago, though she had tried to stay awake.

"She wanted to talk about Lizzy," Eleanor said with some sort of a knowing, smug type of smile. "So?" she asked.

"So?"

"How... how was she?"

"Um... fine?"

"William," she said.

"Why does _everyone_ have the insane idea that I like her?! She's funny, yes, and I may have called her pretty at one time, but that means nothing. She's still weird and annoying and-" _Oh, God,_ I thought. _I'm one of them._

* * *

**Review, please? **

**Pretty please? **

**I have candy.**

**Just sayin'...**


	5. Day Five

**You're all such nice reviewers :D I love you, and you deserve the candy I'm going to hand out to you. Here you go *throws candy down the balcony of the world***

**So, this chapter has been completed for a while but I couldn't find the time to write it on the computer and go over it until now. I've just been so busy, and I'm so sorry :( **

**My busy-ness (if that's a word (and perhaps laziness as well)) isn't the only reason that this chapter wasn't posted sooner. You see... I find this chapter a little ridiculous; I hate you – I LOVE YOU – I wish you would die – COME BACK TO ME – Leave me alone – WAIT, I LOVE YOU ... yeah... I just don't really like it. So please, don't be afraid to judge it harshly. Tell me if you hate it, it's okay. If you're afraid I'm going to hurt you for judging my writing, fear not. It's not like I can actually find you and beat you up. Maybe I could with the right technology and skills, but I have neither so you're good ;)**

**WARNING: This chapter contains more swears than the others.**

* * *

Day five

EPOV

Darcy seemed really pissed off when he dropped the baby off with Charlotte and me. He muttered some sort of a greeting through his clenched teeth and left before I could say a word.

"Geez... what did I ever do to him?" I wondered aloud as I watched him walk away.

Charlotte didn't reply. She just stared at his retreating figure. "Is it weird I find him attractive when he's cold?" she finally said.

"Everything you do is weird," was my reply.

What was going on with him? GAAHHH! I wasn't ready for teenage drama queen Darcy.

I went to my class that morning, still thinking about Darcy. _What's his problem? _ I thought. _Did I do something? _My initial worries were quickly replaced with anger. _Why should I care? He never did. He is a bully, just like the rest of them._

After class, which I paid no attention to, I strolled with baby Darcy to find her father. I was seething when I finally found him by the lockers. Strangely, he wasn't surrounded by his usual crowd of assholes.

"Darcy," I said coldly.

"Lizzy," he mumbled in surprise, closing his locker quickly.

"What the hell is going on?"

"Wha-?"

"You can't just come to me and treat me coldly without telling me what I did wrong."

His expression turned into anger. "Now just wait a damn minute." He held up a finger and directed it at me. "I never did anything to you. I don't deserve to get a piece of your hatred. I may have stood by on a few occasions but that doesn't make me the bad guy."

"Are you fucking serious? It makes you even worse. You watched them humiliate me every day and you did nothing. Your BFF George threw dog shit at my window everyday for weeks, and you did nothing."

"I-"

"It wasn't easy cleaning that off, and it sure as hell wasn't easy telling my parents why there was poo on my window." Damn it, I was about to cry. I was determined not to and continued on, "Caroline stole my clothes from the girls' locker room and–"

"I swear I had no-"

"Wanna know where I found them? On the parking lot. Most of them were in a puddle but she took extra care in the placement of my underwear, putting them on the flagpole." The buried memories of the humiliation came flooding back to me. I left out some of the worse parts, he didn't need to know it all, he didn't care.

"Lizzy, I swear to you, I never had anything to do with any of the things you just described." He looked serious enough, but I didn't trust him.

"Whatever, Darcy. I'm leaving." I walked away with the baby and he didn't stop me.

...

DPOV

I had truly had no idea. I was angry at her for accusing me of those things, angry at my friends for doing them, but mostly angry at myself for not doing anything. Was I really the bad guy? I didn't think I deserved to get the blame but I could admit to myself that I wasn't completely innocent.

"George," I said after finding him at our table. "I need to talk to you."

"What's up?" he said, not even bothering to look up from his computer.

"I want you to leave Lizzy and her friend alone."

Now he looked at me. He seemed genuinely confused at my request. "Why?"

"Because they don't deserve it, no one does." I wasn't sure how to really explain why he should stop being a jerk. "Just leave them alone, please."

"Okay," he shrugged nonchalantly and turned his eyes back to the computer screen.

Now I was the confused one. Really? Just like that? It was that easy? "Um... okay... thanks."

He made a non-committal sound. "Just don't come crying to me when you get tired of screwing her."

I lost it.

I practically jumped over the table to reach him. When I did, I punched him so hard I could feel my bones splinter. His lip was bleeding and his nose as well. Seeing that didn't stop me, though. I didn't stop shouting or hitting him until someone pulled me back, and even then I struggled and tried to continue.

...

EPOV

"What's going on?" I asked a random girl.

The whole school (at least it looked like it) had gathered in the cafeteria to watch something.

"Will Darcy just punched the crap out of George Wickham," the girl replied without looking at me.

Her friend added, "I heard it was about some girl."

"I smell a suspension," the first girl said, and her friend nodded in agreement.

_What the hell is going on?_ I wondered for the hundredth time that day.

I found Charlotte amidst the crowd.

"Did you hear?" she asked. "Darcy just beat the shit out of George."

"Yeah, I heard," I replied. "I don't get it. They're friends. They're..." _They're the same,_ I had wanted to say but something held me back.

...

DPOV

I held a bag of ice against my fist while I sat in front of the principal's office while my guardian was being called. I should have thought about the trouble I'd get in, but I didn't think at all when I attacked George. I knew Eleanor would be disappointed, I had lost a friend but for some reason I didn't care. Lizzy, despite everything, didn't deserve to be talked about like that. I was angry with her still and I knew she hated me, but she deserved to be treated right. I realised I didn't regret the fight. Even though I had lost George as a friend, not that I missed him, to gain nothing in return, I didn't regret it. Lizzy would never want to be with me or even be my friend, which was, I realised to my surprise, what I had wanted for so long.

"Will," Eleanor's voice interrupted my thoughts. She crouched before me. "Will, what happened?" She sounded very concerned, which surprised me somewhat. I would have thought she'd yell at me and forbid me all of life's pleasures.

"Aren't you mad?" I asked in my surprise.

"Of course I'm mad, but I know there must have been _something_ that made you go after your friend like that." When I didn't reply, she said, "Or some_one?_" I dared not look into her eyes. "Will, tell me, please. Was it this Lizzy girl? What happened?"

I took a deep breath and told her everything. From Lizzy's bullying and my inactiveness, to George's cruel words. After I finished my tale, she sat down next to me and sighed. "I can't believe I'm saying this," she said," but now I kind of wish you had hit him some more."

"Eleanor!" I said, gasping in shock but smiling a little.

She laughed. Then we were quiet for a while, until she finally spoke again. "So you really did nothing?" I shook my head silently, truly ashamed. "I must say I'm a little disappointed in you. I had thought you were better than that."

"I thought so too, until Lizzy walked into my life with her true accusations." In that moment I really hated myself. "I think I understand why she hates me so much."

"Oh, I don't think she hates you, darling," Eleanor said, smiling, "considering the trouble she's going through so you won't get suspended."

I furrowed my brows. "What?" I was genuinely surprised, baffled, shocked, you name it. "Why would she...?"

"Well, you _are_ the father of her child." Eleanor elbowed me and winked, making me chuckle. "But maybe there are other reasons too. Guilt, perhaps? Or maybe this is her way of apologising."

...

EPOV

My father used all of his connections in my school in order to convince the principal not to suspend Darcy. Dad was bewildered when I came to him with the request. "You're asking me to help the boy whom you've complained about for years?" he had asked. Yes, it may have been surprising considering how I disliked him but I owed him this. I had behaved like a bitter asshole. I still thought he was a jerk for not speaking up and a part of me still blamed him but I knew he wasn't involved in the worst things. He hadn't even known about them. And he _had _defended me to his friends recently, when I had come to him with the baby.

Speaking of the baby...

"Where's Darcy?"

"With the principal," my father replied. He was still sitting with me in the teachers' lounge. Quite frankly I had forgotten he was there, and where I was.

"No, I mean baby Darcy," I said. Realisation his me; I had forgotten her

I ran out of the lounge, through the hallway and into the cafeteria. She was nowhere to be seen. My heart was beating at an abnormal speed and I was scared shitless. Then I heard a baby cry and relief washed over me. I had never been happier to hear that wail. I ran in the direction of the noise, and there she was. All alone by the lockers. My little angel, crying in her stroller. I was so glad to see her. I picked her up, soothed her and walked back to the lounge with her in my arms, pushing the stroller ahead of us.

"You forgot our baby?" came Darcy's angry, stiff voice, though I could hear the amusement in the robot tone. I threw all thoughts of annoyance aside and hugged him. He was taken aback and didn't return the hug immediately. When he did, I realised what I was doing and stepped out of his arms, clearing my throat.

"I don't know why I did that," I said, "sorry."

"It's fine," he said, scratching the back of his head nervously. A painful silence passed between us. "So... Thanks for, uh, saving me," he said after a moment.

"No big deal."

At this, my father cleared his throat and looked at me with his 'you've got to be kidding me' look, with a hint of his 'you're not the one who went through all that crap' look.

"Thanks for beating up George for me," I said, "so I wouldn't have to."

"You're welcome," Darcy replied. I couldn't tell whether he was amused or bemused.

Silence passed between us again, awkward as always. The baby then decided to make a big, BIG, disgusting, smelly, foul do-do. Tears started forming in my eyes at the smell. Everyone around us covered their noses while the baby giggled proudly.

"Go change her," Darcy said nasally.

"You take her," I handed the stink bomb to him.

"She's _your_ daughter," he said and returned her.

"She's yours too!" I claimed and pushed her back at him.

"Not today." He made to give her to me again but I ran away as fast as I could. "That's so immature!" he shouted. "I'm wounded, you know!" I continued to run, laughing my butt off. "You owe me!" He had caved. I was quite pleased with myself. I stopped running and walked around the school instead.

It had been a really long day and it wasn't even six o'clock. I had gone through so many mixed feelings about Darcy. I was embarrassed and ashamed of myself. _Drama, drama, drama._ I couldn't wait to go home and cuddle with baby Darcy and watch someone else's problems.

_Oh!_ I realised happily,_ It's Friday!_

...

DPOV

So, I changed the poopoo machine, smiling to myself, despite the foul smell. Sometimes I hated Lizzy, but I couldn't help but like her too. So she annoyed me to no ends but I liked her annoying presence.

I returned the baby to Lizzy before I left home with Eleanor. We agreed on an olive branch, at last. She did insult me, though, for good measures, she said. I smiled and formed an insult myself and we called it a day.

It was Friday night and like all Friday nights, Eleanor, Gigi and I went out for dinner. I was surprised Eleanor hadn't grounded me but please. Then again, I had no friends now since they had all sided with George. I guessed they weren't my friends at all then, but I knew I didn't really deserve to keep my friendship with them. Caroline was still faithful to me, though, unfortunately.

I got a call from Charles Bingley that night. Charlie was my best mate and Caroline's brother. He was three years older than me and lived in a college dorm in another town. I couldn't wait to go to leave my school and go to college with him.

Anyways, Charlie called because Caroline had told him what had happened that day, but I told him the details and my side of the story.

"Willy's got a crush," Charlie said in a sing-song voice after I had finished.

"Shut up," I said but I was smiling.

"You are so cute!" Charlie exclaimed. I could just hear he wanted to squish my cheeks and make baby noises.

"Stop making fun of me."

"I'm not making fun of you, I'm merely pointing out the fact that you are adorable."

"Alright then, stop flirting with me."

"Never."

"What will your girlfriend say?" I asked in feigned scandalised voice. He didn't reply. I knew he had to be blushing like crazy. "Charlie... is there something you're not telling me?"

"Um..."

"Who is she?" I sat up and prepared myself for Charlie's latest news.

"Well there's this girl... but I doubt she even knows I exist."

"Tell me more." I was too excited for my own good.

"She's very,_ very _pretty. An angel, really."

"What's her name?"

"Jane," he said dreamily.

...

EPOV

The night was spend in front of the TV, devouring ice cream with my three younger sisters. Mom had opted for frozen yogurt and forced dad to choke it down with her. Baby Darcy just drank her chemical milk and I waited for the surprise it would give me later.

* * *

**Remember not to be afraid to judge it. Just tell it to me straight. Don't I deserve that? I'm a big girl, I can take it. I won't hurt you, I promise.**


	6. Day Six

**I'm so, so sorry. I'm a bad person and a bad writer. Please forgive me. I know since I've been away for months you might have been expecting something better than this, but this is the best I could do. It's short and it sucks but I hope it will do the trick.**

**Again, I'm sorry. Feel free to send me hate.**

* * *

Day Six

EPOV

I woke up to the smell of vomit. I had fallen asleep with Darcy on top of me (baby Darcy, not the grown one. That would be weird, having him on top of me... and sexual. And I don't think of him in a sexual manner. At all. Ever. Oh, shut up. Where was I?) and she had puked her guts out all over me. I groaned and moved the sleeping baby to her stroller and went into the bathroom to wash myself. I asked my father to watch over the baby while I took a shower. He grunted and I took that as a 'why yes, I'd love to.'

I quickly showered and had just gotten downstairs when the doorbell rang. I opened the door and there stood Darcy. He looked...shy?

"Hey, Darcy," I said with a smile and opened the door wider to let him in. He clasped his hands behind his back and smiled awkwardly. "I'm just gonna get Darcy, okay?" He nodded without a word.

Strange.

I walked into Dad's office and took baby Darcy. Dad was engrossed in a book, as always, and didn't notice me.

"Dad," I said, trying to get his attention. "Daaaad. DAAAAAAAD!" He finally looked up. "Thanks for watching Darcy for me."

He looked between me and the child, confused. He opened his mouth to speak but coughed instead. "Anytime, darling."

I narrowed my eyes. "You had no idea she was here."

"Not a clue."

...

DPOV

_Okay, just be cool. You can do this. You're the MAN._

"Sorry for keeping you waiting," Lizzy said, interrupting my thoughts. She handed me the baby and pushed the stroller towards me.

_God, you're beautiful._

"What?" she asked.

My eyes widened in horror; I had said that last part out loud.

"Um, I said... that... God... He's beautiful..."

_What the hell are you talking about, Darcy?_

"Okayyy." She looked at me quizzically.

An awkward silence passed between us before she politely shoved me out. As she was about to close the door, I finally had the courage to ask her what I had been thinking about the entire previous night.

"Willyougooutwithme?"

_Smooth, Darcy. Way to keep your cool._

I cleared my throat and tried again. "Will you, Lizzy Bennet, the mother of my child, please go out with me tonight?"

A painfully long moment passed until Lizzy smiled softly and agreed. I released the breath I didn't realise I had been holding and walked away awkwardly.

"Darcy!" I turned around at the sound of her lovel-uh, voice; the sound of her voice. "Aren't you forgetting something?" I had no idea what she was talking about until I saw where her finger was pointing; I had forgotten our child.

I made my way back to the house and took the baby and the stroller.

"Forgot our baby, William Darcy? Scandalous."

I smiled; I liked how she said my name.

...

EPOV

Darcy came by my house at eight o'clock. To my surprise, he had brought baby Darcy with him. When I asked him about it, he told me he hadn't found sitter for her. But I could tell there was something he wasn't telling me. He was behaving mysteriously and it freaked me out. He wouldn't even tell me where we were going.

We walked to a small restaurant near our school. I looked down at my jeans and blazer, feeling like I was a little underdressed. Darcy seemed to have read my mind for he told me I looked lovely. I blushed at the compliment.

A waiter escorted us to our seats and, with a slightly amused expression on his face, got a baby chair for junior. We ordered and talked while we waited for our food to arrive. It surprised me how easy it was to carry a conversation with Darcy. I realised we hadn't really spoken before. We told each other about our likes and dislikes, future plans, our families and friends. Just everything. And it was nice.

When he told me about his parents' death, I couldn't help but to reach over the table to hold his hand comfortingly. He smiled sadly and laced his fingers through mine, stroking them lightly.

The waiter interrupted our little moment.

We ate in comfortable silence, only speaking to tell our opinion on the food.

When the time came to leave, we fought over the bill. I wanted to pay for my meal but he was very much opposed to that.

"I'm the one who ate the chicken, I should pay for it," I argued.

"But _I_ asked _you_ out, therefore I should pay."

"That is ridiculous. You-"

"I'll just leave you guys with the check," the waiter said, putting the check on the table before awkwardly backing away.

"If a man asks a woman out on a date, he should pay," Darcy stated.

"Oh, so you're a man?" I snorted. "And this is a date?"

He drew his lips into a thin line. "Yes, I'm a man! And yes, this is a date... isn't it?"

"Is it?"

"Isn't it?"

"Is it?"

Our mature argument lasted a little while longer.

He won, in the end.

"But I'm paying for the next," I told him.

He smiled smugly. "So there's gonna be a next?"

I looked at him, not amused.

...

DPOV

We walked together in silence. I pushed baby Darcy ahead of me and kept thinking how I could lead the stroller with one hand, using the other to hold Lizzy's. But I told myself 'no'. It was only yesterday that she hated me with the fiery passion of a thousand suns.

I stopped her in front of a large house. She looked bewildered.

"Why are we stopping?" she asked. "I thought you were taking me for ice cream."

"This is something much better than ice cream."

"Nothing beats ice cream," she muttered under her breath, causing me to smile.

"This," I pointed at the house, "is George's house."

The bewildered expression returned to her face. "So?"

"You told me yesterday about a certain thing he did to your window. Well, Darcy's food seems to have gone straight through her."

She understood where I was going with this and a mischievous smile slowly took over her face. We crept into the backyard and I showed Lizzy George's window. It was on the second floor. After changing junior's diaper, Lizzy took the used one, climbed onto my shoulders and smeared George's window with baby Darcy's green shit. Lizzy giggled and I couldn't help but laugh at the ridiculousness of it all. It was childish, yes, but it made her feel better. Heck, it made _me_ feel better.

Suddenly, George's light went on. Lizzy jumped down and we ran away with the proud owner of the poop that made George scream, "WHAT THE–"

We didn't hear the rest, but I'm sure you can all fill in the blank.

Lizzy was laughing merrily when we finally stopped to take a breath.

"That was so much fun," she said, her chest heaving. "Stupid, but fun."

I concurred with a chuckle.

We walked in direction to her house, talking happily about everything and nothing. It was lovely. _She_ was lovely.

"I was wondering," I paused for her attention, "do you think infants actually crap green?" This question caused her to burst out with laughter. "I'm being serious," I said with a grin.

"I don't know," she said. "And I hope I won't find out any time soon."

"Don't you ever babysit?"

She snorted. "No one in their right mind would trust me alone with their child."

"Well, for what it's worth, I think you'll make a terrific mother."

"Aww, thank you. So will you."

"What?"

"Your sister told me about your dress up games. You'll be a wonderful mother."

"Firstly," I held up one finger, "I never actually dressed up, and secondly, when did you talk to my sister?"

"Earlier tonight," she stated simply, "I was going to ask when you'd come over but you were in the shower." She winked suggestively.

I was going to kill that sweet little pink angel.

...

EPOV

We stopped in front of my house. I turned to Darcy and, probably for the first time in my life, I had no idea what to say.

"Well... tonight was lovely," I managed to come up with. "Thanks for dinner, and the window crapping, though I'm starting to feel bad about it."

"Don't. He's a douchebag, as you say."

This amused me.

"So, which one of us will have the baby tomorrow?" He looked at me with a question mark written on his forehead. "Tomorrow is day seven." I had to hold myself back from saying 'duh'. "An uneven number. Should we split it? You take the first half of the day and I'll take the second half?"

He thought for a moment. "Or... we could spend the day together."

I raised an eyebrow. "That's an interesting suggestion. You don't have an underlying reason for it, do you?"

"What? Blah. No." He smirked.

We stood in front of each other, just staring for a moment. Then I came back to my senses and bid him goodnight.

"Don't forget to give Darcy a kiss," he said.

I leaned in and gave him a kiss on the cheek.

"Well, that was lovely, but I was talking about the baby."

I grinned and went inside.

* * *

**Yup, it's crap. I told you so. Leave me a review and tell me what to change?**


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